At a meeting, a member who'd been in the Program for well over a year shared that he was feeling just that way... then went on to relate how the night before, being alone, he had entertained himself with his sex "toys" and video pornography for the first time in months... and just how empty that activity had left him. It finally dawned on him that he was actually grieving the loss of one more "sexual crutch" that he had relied on so heavily over the years. He'd lost another "old friend." He reported to a Program buddy next day that once he realized that, the sadness left him and he felt a lot lighter! And a week later, he boxed up his toys, brought them to his meeting, and dumped them in the trash, with the full support of the others; his LAST secret. One step closer to freedom!
Many of us remember, when first coming into the Program, experiencing those feelings of sadness quite often as we let go of one acting out activity after another. Sometimes the feelings were so painful that we might have indulged an activity once more to ease the pain for a little while, but, again, the "highs" just weren't there. We were recovering! Might not have realized it, but we were recovering!
A lot has been written about how grieving is a necessary process in order to go on to healthier living. We read about it, but, like a lot of other things that others tell us about, it just doesn't sink in. Not until we go through such an experience ourselves -- even though it might seem rather insignificant at the time -- and suddenly a light comes on! Wow! Look what I just learned!
So what can we say but that when those kinds of feelings come over us, feel them, think about them, even savor them, talk about them, don't hide them.... and then, let them go!
A quote somewhere says, "The other side of grief is freedom..." Enough said.