FOOD FOR THOUGHT

by Richard K., SCA-San Luis Obispo, CA

Program Buddy

A lot is said in meetings and in the SCA literature about the value of having a Sponsor -- no disputing that at all! But sometimes getting a Sponsor isn't all that easy. Many Sponsors are so much in demand that they just can't take on any more Sponsees. Or perhaps some of us in the Program are a little reluctant to make the committment of getting a "formal" Sponsor for whatever reason. Or maybe we have a Sponsor, but need a little something else. especially if our Sponsor has a schedule which makes contact difficult when the need might be the greatest.

One solution is as simple as it is obvious. One might call him/her (we'll use "him" from now on for simplicity only) a "Program Buddy" -- a person we connect with particularly well in a meeting. Our Higher Power has a way of setting up just such connections, although sometimes we choose to ignore Him and miss out on a great opportunity. But once such a connection is made, there comes a mutual opening-up on the part of each person -- slowly -- a building up of mutual trust.

Of course, building up of trust in others (and in ourselves) is one of the main reasons for going to meetings, but sometimes a deeper intimacy is also very beneficial. Especially if this intimacy results in a non-addictive, non-sexual relationship, even though a strong sexual attraction might be there just waiting to screw the whole thing up. Our addict has a way of setting up smoke screens of just such attractions, but we can choose to fight that One way is by talking to our Buddy about these feelings openly; sometimes more than once. Most of the time, that will defuse the addict in us and let us see the spiritual, non-sexual, physical side of him.

This relationship can have all the advantages of a Sponsor/Sponsee relationship, but on an even more intimate basis, and, probably, on a more available basis. And availability is crucial many times to avoid a slip, or to keep from beating ourselves up over a slip, or to be able to dump our feelings when those feelings are right there -- not something which was there a couple of hours or days ago.


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